three years late with starbys

Hiya fronds,

So. The last post I posted was, “It’s been a while” and that had only been, like…six months. Now it’s been three years. Oof. Well. That happened.

In my defense, it’s been a rough few years. I spent 2023 trying to get back on my feet after the disaster that was my life in 2022, and then 2025 kicked my ass again, so. I’m trying to get back on my feet again. I still sometimes think last year was 2019. I am struggling with being in the back half of the decade. I don’t really know where the time went. Time isn’t real, anyway.

All this to say—I sent query letters out today for the first time in over two years, and it was just as terrifying as it was the first time. If not more so, since this time, I am a few years out from having my finger on the pulse of the book industry. I haven’t worked in a bookstore in so long, and while I haven’t stopped reading, I’m reading so much more for me: slowly and lots of backlist. Which is a blessing and a curse. QueryManager asking me for comp titles from the last three years has me stumped—not because I haven’t read anything from the last three years, but because I still think 2019 is part of that category.

In short: I’m a mess.

But I really, really, really miss writing. And there is, perhaps, nothing more motivating for me than querying. Because querying is terrifying, and writing from a blank page seems so easy in comparison. So I sat my butt down and sent letters today, and now I want to write. Which I haven’t wanted to do in years.

It’s nice. And also scary—because what if I’ve forgotten how to write?

No way to know short of diving back in. So here I go. Wish me luck. See you on the other side.

-N